I don't like this part of the semester. No, not one bit. The only actual motivation I have is to decorate my apartment for Christmas. Unfortunately, light up candycanes and twinkle lights don't improve GPAs.
Someone hit the fast forward button.
I want to go to Europe...but I also want to go to sleep. So I'm picking sleep, and we'll talk about Europe tomorrow.
Peace
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
white collar boy...and other woes
Ladies and gentlemen, Belle & Sebastian's "White Collar Boy." Pedro got me into them over the summer (don't be shocked...five mix CDs later and my knowledge of slightly more current music is significantly improved and I credit him with that) and this is my favorite song of theirs that he put on my collection of mix CDs. They're from Scotland, and that's all I've gathered so far, but hopefully Santa can bring me some iTunes cards so I can get some new music on my compy. Enjoy...I really think they're great.
That video, my friends is in celebration of my finally getting the smarts to sync my Blogger with my YouTube account using Firefox, and not Safari. Good job. I don't know why the whole world is so anti-Safari. The PC world can't be hatin' on us Mac users forever, you know. Safari is just as safe as *cringe* Internet Explorer...but I do admit, Firefox trumps, but doesn't look as neat on my computer. And...I go for the asthetically pleasing about 98% of the time. That, and I think I'm better that most people because I use a Mac. No matter. I don't hate on the PC world too often, just when Safari doesn't work because people are hatin' on my happy little Mac world.
Anyway, Thanksgiving? Oh, quite nice indeed. Could have been longer, that's all I could ask for. All my priviledged friends are finally back from their galavants across Europe and Asia, so I got to catch up with people that I hadn't seen in almost a year.
In keeping with the theme of the poor little White Collar Boy we just learned about...it's the last three weeks of the semester. I think I was in denial about this minor detail that has an awful lot to do with my life because I definitely tried to convince myself that staying home would make all the final projects and articles and portfolios go away. It didn't though. Here we go...the rest of this semester cannot possibly go well.
The water in this town is not fit to drink...but, they didn't tell me that when I had a huge cup of it with a Tylenol this morning. I didn't find out until I got to the newspaper in HAGERSTOWN that the water was on boil-before-drinking advisory in SHEPHERDSTOWN. When I got back to change before my night class, there was an ambiguous sign on the door that said DO NOT DRINK and in smaller letters WATER IS CONTAMINATED. I just hope that when the water is clear again the ambiguous sign doesn't say DRINK...or they'll have more drunk children than usual on their hands. Regardless, it's either paranoia or water disease that's left me quite lethargic all day.
But! We're FINALLY starting filming for mine and Jackie's movie for Single Cam. If it's wonderful (which, it should be now that we have a tripod), then you might be lucky enough to see it posted on this here blog.
Is my longest paragrah in this entry about Internet? ...Oh dear God. I need Christmas vacation.
Speaking of, some crazy lady at Macy's attacked me on Black Friday asking if I wanted to work there for the holidays. When I told her I'd be in Rhode Island for four days, she got an attitude with me and said that schedule would simply NOT work with her's. She asked me to work...people...
Stay tuned for the 12 Pains of Christmas, and other stories of holiday goodness.
Peace in the Middle East.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
commuting thoughts part two
Well, it's been a strange week. The one thing I can say is I wasn't bored. My editor let me go an hour early because I was finished with my stories and because it was Thanksgiving. I wanted to wrap something up and she walked by my desk du jour and said, "why are you still here? Go see your family!" That was nice to hear. I did some pretty amazing interviews this week...I've learned so much from this paper...and I'm definitely more outgoing with my writing and interviewing. I really love this job!
I got back to the apartment to no water. This isn't a surprise to any Shepherd students. A water main breaks at least twice a year. It didn't bother me too much, since I got to leave. I stopped at the Starbucks in Frederick on 40 and was on my way...rocking out to some Christmas tunes. "Run, Run, Rudolph" was the soundtrack to my arrival on 695. How approriate. But, if you know me, then you know that sort of thing happens on a regular basis for me. Wes Anderson is collaborating with Baz Luhrmann, and they're directing my life..."Truman Show" style. It's a bizarre, trippy, disconnected flick, with a pretty incredible soundtrack.
I want to travel..run off to New York, even better, Europe. I suppose the San Francisco trip in March with the English department will be a nice start, though...seeing Haight-Ashbury will be like visiting Mecca...to me at least. That, and City Lights bookstore. (Nerd alert!) Someday, I'll get out. I guess.
Happy Thanksgiving, folks...I had more to say but I started typing, and for once I'm actually sleepy. :) I'm thankful for that.
Enjoy your turkey...tofurkey...or whatever you'll be eating tomorrow. Most importantly, enjoy your family and friends. (and pumpkin pie!)
Oh, and if you're like me and braving black Friday...don't get arrested. :)
Peace
I got back to the apartment to no water. This isn't a surprise to any Shepherd students. A water main breaks at least twice a year. It didn't bother me too much, since I got to leave. I stopped at the Starbucks in Frederick on 40 and was on my way...rocking out to some Christmas tunes. "Run, Run, Rudolph" was the soundtrack to my arrival on 695. How approriate. But, if you know me, then you know that sort of thing happens on a regular basis for me. Wes Anderson is collaborating with Baz Luhrmann, and they're directing my life..."Truman Show" style. It's a bizarre, trippy, disconnected flick, with a pretty incredible soundtrack.
I want to travel..run off to New York, even better, Europe. I suppose the San Francisco trip in March with the English department will be a nice start, though...seeing Haight-Ashbury will be like visiting Mecca...to me at least. That, and City Lights bookstore. (Nerd alert!) Someday, I'll get out. I guess.
Happy Thanksgiving, folks...I had more to say but I started typing, and for once I'm actually sleepy. :) I'm thankful for that.
Enjoy your turkey...tofurkey...or whatever you'll be eating tomorrow. Most importantly, enjoy your family and friends. (and pumpkin pie!)
Oh, and if you're like me and braving black Friday...don't get arrested. :)
Peace
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Oh, and one more thing...
Don't tell me this isn't the most amazing YouTube video you have ever seen in your life:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkzRNpU2_nA
It'd be cooler if YouTube would let me add this blog to my account. Whatev.
These children are better at 'Cranking That'...(that MIGHT be the official verb, I'm not sure) than me. In my defense, I don't have springs for legs and learned once while sitting in the stands at a football game and the second time intoxicated. Still..it's a good time for all.
Oh, and...I got back from work today to find that my toilet is broken. That's good. I mean, it's fine...I just have to manually pull the chain up, since the thing that attaches the chain to the lever broke off. It's not terribly trashy to stick my hand in the tank every time I need to go to the bathroom. I processed a work order with the RA, she said it might not be fixed this week. That's fine, it's a just toilet. It's nothing necessary to my life or anything. That's only part of my sketchy day of propositions and almost getting shot in Martinsburg.
I'm really peacing this time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkzRNpU2_nA
It'd be cooler if YouTube would let me add this blog to my account. Whatev.
These children are better at 'Cranking That'...(that MIGHT be the official verb, I'm not sure) than me. In my defense, I don't have springs for legs and learned once while sitting in the stands at a football game and the second time intoxicated. Still..it's a good time for all.
Oh, and...I got back from work today to find that my toilet is broken. That's good. I mean, it's fine...I just have to manually pull the chain up, since the thing that attaches the chain to the lever broke off. It's not terribly trashy to stick my hand in the tank every time I need to go to the bathroom. I processed a work order with the RA, she said it might not be fixed this week. That's fine, it's a just toilet. It's nothing necessary to my life or anything. That's only part of my sketchy day of propositions and almost getting shot in Martinsburg.
I'm really peacing this time.
sketchy
Today was the sketchiest day of my entire life. No, really. I wrote this post yesterday, but Panera's wireless internet wouldn't let me publish. Internet is back now. One interview and the wrap up of my three evergreen stories tomorrow. Then I get off at 5, I'll come back, pack...put my fish in some sort of travel container and finally head home for a tryptophan coma and Thanksgiving.
Sketchily yours (but alive),
BT
Lyrics of the moment:
"Ghost of Corporate Future" - Regina Spektor
A man walks out of his apartment,
It is raining, he's got no umbrella
He starts running beneath the awnings,
Trying to save his suit,
Trying to save his suit.
Trying to dry, and to dry, and to dry but no good
When he gets to the crowded subway platform,
He takes off both of his shoes
He steps right into somebody's fat loogie
And everyone who sees him says, "Ew."
Everyone who sees him says, "Ew."
But he doesn't care,
'Cause last night he got a visit from the
Ghost of Corporate Future
The ghost said, "Take off both your shoes
Whatever chances you get
Especially when they're wet."
He also said,
"Imagine you go away
On a business trip one day
And when you come back home,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan."
"And people make you nervous
You'd think the world is ending,
And everybody's features have somehow started blending
And everything is plastic,
And everyone's sarcastic,
And all your food is frozen,
It needs to be defrosted."
"You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now.
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now."
"Well maybe you should just drink a lot less coffee,
And never ever watch the ten o'clock news,
Maybe you should kiss someone nice,
Or lick a rock,
Or both."
"Maybe you should cut your own hair
'Cause that can be so funny
It doesn't cost any money
And it always grows back
Hair grows even after you're dead"
"And people are just people,
They shouldn't make you nervous.
The world is everlasting,
It's coming and it's going.
If you don't toss your plastic,
The streets won't be so plastic.
And if you kiss somebody,
Then both of you'll get practice."
"The world is everlasting
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
And take off both your shoes.
'Cause people are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.
People are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you."
The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
It's coming and it's going
My ex-boyfriend, Pedro, turned me on to this song over the summer. (Does that sound funny?) The song couldn't have entered my life at a better time. With the exception of moaning wives, I feel like the poor man in this song whenever I have to enter a real-world job situation. I was battling a 9-5 in a world I wasn't soo sure I was fond of. I learned how much I really need people and how bad my undiagnosed ADD really is. The song came back today, as I completed another 9-5 in an environment I think I like. Regardless, 9-5 is a long time to sit in front of a desk, but at least I know that as a real reporter, I won't just sit, I'll get to do things. I think a lot of the sitting and a lot of the idle time comes with being an intern, and having people doubt what you can really do without that fancy peice of paper with, of all things, a B.S. label on it.
I wasn't cut out for the life that the other interns I worked with over the summer want...I'm not cut out to do the same thing over and over again. That's the greatest part about reporters...they're an expert about something new every day, even if it's a beat.
The paper's editor came over to my cubby hole du jour and congratulated me on having the video of the week last week. Yes...my little video of the Publisher's Clearinghouse winner was the "video of the week." I'm sure that means nothing, but to me, it means everything. One of the reporters said my video was "cute" because I was being pushed to the back but kept fighting my way forward. That's actually how I want all of my work to be viewed, it was a huge ego boost. The people at the paper, the nature of the work, make me feel like I'll actually go somewhere with this. And, when the time and education is there...I can leave 9-5 (because, it's the hours I don't like) and live happily ever after teaching college.
It's a good plan.
It is Monday, and on Monday I am thankful for my new coffee mug, free wireless Internet at Panera and meeting Marie at the Daily Grind in Martinsburg for an hour and a half. Oh, and that same orange hoodie I was thankful for on Saturday.
I drive through Shepherdstown tonight, thinking about everything that this place has brought me. McMurran is decorated for Christmas, as are most of the little shops. I pass the brothers' old house and think about the number of times I've stumbled down that hill and insisted that I just had a bad sense of balance. I think about how strange it will be to be a real person and come back to Shepherdstown to visit the myth that it is. And then, I pray that it will suck me into the black hole that it is and I can stay there, writing at the Lost Dog and drinking espresso for the rest of my life.
It's a better plan.
I think the staff of Panera is signaling for me to leave. I think they're closing. Regardless...no internet at Birch, so it's Garage Band for some film soundtracking and probably a movie or six for this budding reporter/videographer combo pack.
*sigh*
Oh, and one more thing...
Would you like to say something before you leave
Perhaps you'd care to state exactly how you feel
We said goodbye before we've said hello
I hardly even like you, I shouldn't care at all
We met just six hours ago, the music was too loud
From your bed I gained a day and lost a bloody year
And I would like to know
How do you feel? How do you feel, how?
How do you feel? How do you feel, how?
Thanks Pink Floyd...
Sketchily yours (but alive),
BT
Lyrics of the moment:
"Ghost of Corporate Future" - Regina Spektor
A man walks out of his apartment,
It is raining, he's got no umbrella
He starts running beneath the awnings,
Trying to save his suit,
Trying to save his suit.
Trying to dry, and to dry, and to dry but no good
When he gets to the crowded subway platform,
He takes off both of his shoes
He steps right into somebody's fat loogie
And everyone who sees him says, "Ew."
Everyone who sees him says, "Ew."
But he doesn't care,
'Cause last night he got a visit from the
Ghost of Corporate Future
The ghost said, "Take off both your shoes
Whatever chances you get
Especially when they're wet."
He also said,
"Imagine you go away
On a business trip one day
And when you come back home,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan."
"And people make you nervous
You'd think the world is ending,
And everybody's features have somehow started blending
And everything is plastic,
And everyone's sarcastic,
And all your food is frozen,
It needs to be defrosted."
"You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now.
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now."
"Well maybe you should just drink a lot less coffee,
And never ever watch the ten o'clock news,
Maybe you should kiss someone nice,
Or lick a rock,
Or both."
"Maybe you should cut your own hair
'Cause that can be so funny
It doesn't cost any money
And it always grows back
Hair grows even after you're dead"
"And people are just people,
They shouldn't make you nervous.
The world is everlasting,
It's coming and it's going.
If you don't toss your plastic,
The streets won't be so plastic.
And if you kiss somebody,
Then both of you'll get practice."
"The world is everlasting
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
And take off both your shoes.
'Cause people are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.
People are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you."
The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
It's coming and it's going
My ex-boyfriend, Pedro, turned me on to this song over the summer. (Does that sound funny?) The song couldn't have entered my life at a better time. With the exception of moaning wives, I feel like the poor man in this song whenever I have to enter a real-world job situation. I was battling a 9-5 in a world I wasn't soo sure I was fond of. I learned how much I really need people and how bad my undiagnosed ADD really is. The song came back today, as I completed another 9-5 in an environment I think I like. Regardless, 9-5 is a long time to sit in front of a desk, but at least I know that as a real reporter, I won't just sit, I'll get to do things. I think a lot of the sitting and a lot of the idle time comes with being an intern, and having people doubt what you can really do without that fancy peice of paper with, of all things, a B.S. label on it.
I wasn't cut out for the life that the other interns I worked with over the summer want...I'm not cut out to do the same thing over and over again. That's the greatest part about reporters...they're an expert about something new every day, even if it's a beat.
The paper's editor came over to my cubby hole du jour and congratulated me on having the video of the week last week. Yes...my little video of the Publisher's Clearinghouse winner was the "video of the week." I'm sure that means nothing, but to me, it means everything. One of the reporters said my video was "cute" because I was being pushed to the back but kept fighting my way forward. That's actually how I want all of my work to be viewed, it was a huge ego boost. The people at the paper, the nature of the work, make me feel like I'll actually go somewhere with this. And, when the time and education is there...I can leave 9-5 (because, it's the hours I don't like) and live happily ever after teaching college.
It's a good plan.
It is Monday, and on Monday I am thankful for my new coffee mug, free wireless Internet at Panera and meeting Marie at the Daily Grind in Martinsburg for an hour and a half. Oh, and that same orange hoodie I was thankful for on Saturday.
I drive through Shepherdstown tonight, thinking about everything that this place has brought me. McMurran is decorated for Christmas, as are most of the little shops. I pass the brothers' old house and think about the number of times I've stumbled down that hill and insisted that I just had a bad sense of balance. I think about how strange it will be to be a real person and come back to Shepherdstown to visit the myth that it is. And then, I pray that it will suck me into the black hole that it is and I can stay there, writing at the Lost Dog and drinking espresso for the rest of my life.
It's a better plan.
I think the staff of Panera is signaling for me to leave. I think they're closing. Regardless...no internet at Birch, so it's Garage Band for some film soundtracking and probably a movie or six for this budding reporter/videographer combo pack.
*sigh*
Oh, and one more thing...
Would you like to say something before you leave
Perhaps you'd care to state exactly how you feel
We said goodbye before we've said hello
I hardly even like you, I shouldn't care at all
We met just six hours ago, the music was too loud
From your bed I gained a day and lost a bloody year
And I would like to know
How do you feel? How do you feel, how?
How do you feel? How do you feel, how?
Thanks Pink Floyd...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
initiate holiday season, now...
Here I am. In Shepherdstown for the next few days while the rest of the world is on Thanksgiving break. I'll be working Monday-Wednesday 9-5. (I think I might be a professional intern..) I have the apartment to myself.
Here, I have everything I need. Complete access to the living room so I can move my lap top to the couch. Enough coffee and hot cocoa to feed a small nation, knitting, my great orange hoodie. I also have "This is Spinal Tap" and a Wes Anderson movie marathon. Yes...this girl is in love. The lack of people on campus is completely lame...and when we lose internet Monday-Tuesday in the dorms, I may actually maintain some sort of post-work productivity. I get to go home Wednesday night and bake a pie. It'll be great. It'd be even better if it wasn't so cold in my apartment right now.
I made a Christmas tree out of wrapping paper that almost spans floor to ceiling on my wall. If they gave me anough time on this campus, I might wrap the entire thing.
All things are as they should be. We had the big family dinner in Maple...a good bunch of us. They pulled the coffee tables from some peoples rooms and made a long table in the hallway. There was turkey and potatoes...enough food so everyone could eat until they felt like they were going to vomit. And dessert...so much dessert. It was fun. We bought the thanksgiving dinners for the two families we are sponsoring through the fraternity and then Katie and I spent the rest of Friday drinking apple cider and rum while watching 'RENT.' To top off the perfect weekend, we went to Frederick for Chipotle and Starbucks. The holiday season was kicked off with the first venti Gingerbread Latte. Best friend got engaged. Life as normal.
Oh, wait, what? Engagement?
Yes. Engagement. It made me feel old. I mean, sure, Heather is married, but she's been married for a while. Michelle and I are a bit closer...and she's engaged. Honestly. Mom says this stuff is going to start happening quite frequently. I don't want it to. Life was simpler when I was 10. It's just difficult to wrap my brain around the engagement and potential marriage of friends when I can hang out with several boys on a regular basis but not get a date.
With a life expectancy somewhere between 78 and 80...21 is a blip on the radar, and forever is a really long time. I like Chuck Klosterman's theory on the lack of monogamy in this country...one of his reasons (along with the other REAL sociological reasons why people don't stay married) is that...forever is distcintly longer than it was in 1920. So he's a rock/pop culture critic and not a sociologist...but it makes sense. I'M STILL A LITTLE KID, DAMNIT.
This is why I'm watching Wes Anderson movies this weekend. His detachment from his subjects is hilarious and something I strive for more of...that...and the hilarity of it all.
*sigh*
I'm going to hide under my quilt and build a time machine back to 1997...
Here, I have everything I need. Complete access to the living room so I can move my lap top to the couch. Enough coffee and hot cocoa to feed a small nation, knitting, my great orange hoodie. I also have "This is Spinal Tap" and a Wes Anderson movie marathon. Yes...this girl is in love. The lack of people on campus is completely lame...and when we lose internet Monday-Tuesday in the dorms, I may actually maintain some sort of post-work productivity. I get to go home Wednesday night and bake a pie. It'll be great. It'd be even better if it wasn't so cold in my apartment right now.
I made a Christmas tree out of wrapping paper that almost spans floor to ceiling on my wall. If they gave me anough time on this campus, I might wrap the entire thing.
All things are as they should be. We had the big family dinner in Maple...a good bunch of us. They pulled the coffee tables from some peoples rooms and made a long table in the hallway. There was turkey and potatoes...enough food so everyone could eat until they felt like they were going to vomit. And dessert...so much dessert. It was fun. We bought the thanksgiving dinners for the two families we are sponsoring through the fraternity and then Katie and I spent the rest of Friday drinking apple cider and rum while watching 'RENT.' To top off the perfect weekend, we went to Frederick for Chipotle and Starbucks. The holiday season was kicked off with the first venti Gingerbread Latte. Best friend got engaged. Life as normal.
Oh, wait, what? Engagement?
Yes. Engagement. It made me feel old. I mean, sure, Heather is married, but she's been married for a while. Michelle and I are a bit closer...and she's engaged. Honestly. Mom says this stuff is going to start happening quite frequently. I don't want it to. Life was simpler when I was 10. It's just difficult to wrap my brain around the engagement and potential marriage of friends when I can hang out with several boys on a regular basis but not get a date.
With a life expectancy somewhere between 78 and 80...21 is a blip on the radar, and forever is a really long time. I like Chuck Klosterman's theory on the lack of monogamy in this country...one of his reasons (along with the other REAL sociological reasons why people don't stay married) is that...forever is distcintly longer than it was in 1920. So he's a rock/pop culture critic and not a sociologist...but it makes sense. I'M STILL A LITTLE KID, DAMNIT.
This is why I'm watching Wes Anderson movies this weekend. His detachment from his subjects is hilarious and something I strive for more of...that...and the hilarity of it all.
*sigh*
I'm going to hide under my quilt and build a time machine back to 1997...
Friday, November 16, 2007
check it. i can't sleep
The past two weeks I have been awake. Constantly. Honestly. Always awake, except during the day when I need to be awake. Peak crash time is around 2 or 3...which are important times if you're a normal, functioning person. I almost fell asleep during the Holst suite at tonight's concert simply because I wasn't playing, only to be awake after returning from the Press Room and watching TV with the boys next door.
It seems that each night, I can't turn off my brain and I get some crazy second wind around midnight or one. I've cut off caffeine after 9, but that doesn't seem to be the issue...I just...think about things.
You know, important things like...why is there always loose change in my bed? Why do the flourescent lights in public buildings and dorms suck so much? Why is every drink containing alcohol that I consume "surprisingly strong?" Does everyone know? What happens after May 17? Why is sleepytime tea the most delicious herbal concoction known to humankind? Why is Warren Zevon so weird? Should I really talk to my doctor about Lunesta? and Why is "Fighting in a Sack" by The Shins the single greatest song to wake up to in the morning?
It's getting old. Twice this week, I was up until 5...finished with work, just wanting people to hang out with. All the reasonable people of the world were sleeping. Lame. I'm trying now to sit in an uncluttered room, sip on some tea and start winding my brain down. I have a hand-written, distinctly more private journal and a really good book waiting for me in my bed.
You know...people give me shit about not wanting to leave Shepherdstown. Nights like tonight, though, draw me back here and make me wish I can be like the other college kids that get sucked into the blackhole of Shepherdstown, W.Va. forever.
Our Wind Symphony concert was tonight. My second to last. Which is sad. It was the student conductor's concert...and Neena closed. I don't know if the little glisten in my eye was out of pride for her rockin' out on the "Emperata" or for one of the last times I'll be in that sort of playing situation. It was a good show...
Afterwards, I went out to the Press Room with a nice group of people. I drank and felt silly. Those drinks were surprisingly and overwhelmingly strong. It was a classy evening with good company in a place where people pretend they know you and treat you like you are great friends. And, when you leave the restaurant, you can just jet across the street, knowing the cars will stop, about 95% of the time, even if you aren't in a cross walk.
It's nice here...and I love it.
Thanksgiving is soon. Break starts tomorrow, but after a weekend of Chipotle and Starbucks dates in Frederick I have to give three 9 to 5's to the Herald-Mail and just hang out here. I'll try to get the soundtracking for my single cam and animation projects banged out on Garage Band and get on that Enterprise story....since the campus will be dead. It's all right though. Home on Wednesday, tryptophan on Thursday, shopping on Friday and Denny's on Saturday.
It'll be okay.
But...damnit...I WANT TO SLEEP. Those Lunesta commericals are really soothing at 3:30 a.m. They picked a good time to advertise...and a cheap timeslot.
Peace in the Middle East
It seems that each night, I can't turn off my brain and I get some crazy second wind around midnight or one. I've cut off caffeine after 9, but that doesn't seem to be the issue...I just...think about things.
You know, important things like...why is there always loose change in my bed? Why do the flourescent lights in public buildings and dorms suck so much? Why is every drink containing alcohol that I consume "surprisingly strong?" Does everyone know? What happens after May 17? Why is sleepytime tea the most delicious herbal concoction known to humankind? Why is Warren Zevon so weird? Should I really talk to my doctor about Lunesta? and Why is "Fighting in a Sack" by The Shins the single greatest song to wake up to in the morning?
It's getting old. Twice this week, I was up until 5...finished with work, just wanting people to hang out with. All the reasonable people of the world were sleeping. Lame. I'm trying now to sit in an uncluttered room, sip on some tea and start winding my brain down. I have a hand-written, distinctly more private journal and a really good book waiting for me in my bed.
You know...people give me shit about not wanting to leave Shepherdstown. Nights like tonight, though, draw me back here and make me wish I can be like the other college kids that get sucked into the blackhole of Shepherdstown, W.Va. forever.
Our Wind Symphony concert was tonight. My second to last. Which is sad. It was the student conductor's concert...and Neena closed. I don't know if the little glisten in my eye was out of pride for her rockin' out on the "Emperata" or for one of the last times I'll be in that sort of playing situation. It was a good show...
Afterwards, I went out to the Press Room with a nice group of people. I drank and felt silly. Those drinks were surprisingly and overwhelmingly strong. It was a classy evening with good company in a place where people pretend they know you and treat you like you are great friends. And, when you leave the restaurant, you can just jet across the street, knowing the cars will stop, about 95% of the time, even if you aren't in a cross walk.
It's nice here...and I love it.
Thanksgiving is soon. Break starts tomorrow, but after a weekend of Chipotle and Starbucks dates in Frederick I have to give three 9 to 5's to the Herald-Mail and just hang out here. I'll try to get the soundtracking for my single cam and animation projects banged out on Garage Band and get on that Enterprise story....since the campus will be dead. It's all right though. Home on Wednesday, tryptophan on Thursday, shopping on Friday and Denny's on Saturday.
It'll be okay.
But...damnit...I WANT TO SLEEP. Those Lunesta commericals are really soothing at 3:30 a.m. They picked a good time to advertise...and a cheap timeslot.
Peace in the Middle East
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
commuting thoughts
The car is prime thinking time for this one. I almost never write down what I think about when I'm driving, but I should. I'm sure it lacks profundity, but I get enough of that in my creative writing class. Which I am definitely not deep enough for. I'm pretty sure people "get" me. My creative writing class is another entry in and of itself though.
Tis the holiday season. I'm one of the few people in the world that doesn't mind seeing Christmas cheer up in the early weeks of November. Simply because it brings out a slightly more humane side of humanity. Unless you're shopping, then it doesn't XM 103 started their Holly station. I couldn't be happier.
The holidaze also bring me home for a wrinkle in time. I typically dread going home, simply because I have noting to do but lull around the house and try and make small talk with people I haven't seen in years.
It brings long chats with parents, and the latest topic for that is what I'm going to do with my life. I don't like that question, I should hope I have at LEAST 40 years to decide that, if not more with modern medicine. Since the decision to take a year off and do stuff before jumping into grad school, the Tremblay elder's have been questioning my actually going back to school.
I don't they they realize that I adore school, it's being employed that I really can't wrap my brain around. And some day, I do hope to be Dr. Bethany Tremblay-(hopefully I'll add some other last name to the end of that hyphen...) with a college classroom of my own. A year off could be what I need to get over some test anxiety, improve some GRE scores and experience a little bit more before I add an M.A. to my things to do list. It's a good idea. I'll go back.
I also thought about how much I dig the White Stripes. I went to a LOT of concerts this summer (most of them free-thanks Wolf Trap!) and the White Stripes concert was the only one I paid for, and I'd pay for it all over again.
Now, I'm definitely a small club-bar concert sort of girl. Nothing screams rock and roll like smoke and the smell of stale beer. But, the White Stripes concert was at the Patriot Center at George Mason (and I'd never repeat living THERE, ick). My ex-boyfriend and I had seats at basically the top of the stadium, and the entire time I was afraid I'd fall. The White Stripes themselves were quite tiny, but the stage show they put on was huge. The stage was simple, but blown up by lights, and Meg White is just fabulously wonderful to watch play. Jack is, too, don't get me wrong, but there's something delightfully perky about Meg.
I just got into them over the summer, because of aforementioned ex-boyfriend...but...I dig them. I'm no expert, but when I'm driving and can yelp out a line "I even love it when you're fakin' it..." I'd be hardpressed to say that doesn't make up a euphoric moment. Will observing things like this make me a decent rock reporter? ...No? Ok.
Um...I think that's it for this moment. Just some thoughts for today.
And, damnit, I'm going to get better about posting in here.
Peace in the Middle East
Tis the holiday season. I'm one of the few people in the world that doesn't mind seeing Christmas cheer up in the early weeks of November. Simply because it brings out a slightly more humane side of humanity. Unless you're shopping, then it doesn't XM 103 started their Holly station. I couldn't be happier.
The holidaze also bring me home for a wrinkle in time. I typically dread going home, simply because I have noting to do but lull around the house and try and make small talk with people I haven't seen in years.
It brings long chats with parents, and the latest topic for that is what I'm going to do with my life. I don't like that question, I should hope I have at LEAST 40 years to decide that, if not more with modern medicine. Since the decision to take a year off and do stuff before jumping into grad school, the Tremblay elder's have been questioning my actually going back to school.
I don't they they realize that I adore school, it's being employed that I really can't wrap my brain around. And some day, I do hope to be Dr. Bethany Tremblay-(hopefully I'll add some other last name to the end of that hyphen...) with a college classroom of my own. A year off could be what I need to get over some test anxiety, improve some GRE scores and experience a little bit more before I add an M.A. to my things to do list. It's a good idea. I'll go back.
I also thought about how much I dig the White Stripes. I went to a LOT of concerts this summer (most of them free-thanks Wolf Trap!) and the White Stripes concert was the only one I paid for, and I'd pay for it all over again.
Now, I'm definitely a small club-bar concert sort of girl. Nothing screams rock and roll like smoke and the smell of stale beer. But, the White Stripes concert was at the Patriot Center at George Mason (and I'd never repeat living THERE, ick). My ex-boyfriend and I had seats at basically the top of the stadium, and the entire time I was afraid I'd fall. The White Stripes themselves were quite tiny, but the stage show they put on was huge. The stage was simple, but blown up by lights, and Meg White is just fabulously wonderful to watch play. Jack is, too, don't get me wrong, but there's something delightfully perky about Meg.
I just got into them over the summer, because of aforementioned ex-boyfriend...but...I dig them. I'm no expert, but when I'm driving and can yelp out a line "I even love it when you're fakin' it..." I'd be hardpressed to say that doesn't make up a euphoric moment. Will observing things like this make me a decent rock reporter? ...No? Ok.
Um...I think that's it for this moment. Just some thoughts for today.
And, damnit, I'm going to get better about posting in here.
Peace in the Middle East
Thursday, November 1, 2007
on religion
I've wrestled with religion all my life. I've wrestled with most things though. I'm far too curious for my own good, and I question everything. Not to mention, I was baptized in a faith that my parents weren't took keen with, they wanted me to find my own thing so I went to every denomination of Christianity's Bible School and attended incredibly Catholic weddings and funerals.
Sit...stand...kneel...no, you can't do that. Jesus...God...Mary? It all sort of confused me. On one hand, I always knew that I was supposed to think polythiesm was wrong, but couldn't wrap my head around worshiping Christ, God and Mary and considering it monotheism. I just didn't get it. On top of that, people were always trying to convert me, throwing the Lord's Prayer in my face (there were so many different versions!) as well as The Bible. Well, in the words of the movie "Saved," The Bible is not a weapon. Yet, I saw it as being used as a tool for evil, not good.
So I denounced the whole idea of organized religion for a while, because too many people were shoving it down my throat. My boyfriend at the time made me go to Lutheran church with him, and consistently hinted at the idea of my converting. I couldn't dig it though, not at the time, not at St. Matthew's Lutheran, or any other church for that matter.
I mean, I was realtively convinced of a diety of some sort, I just didn't see the confusion to be worth it.
I found the Episcopal Church when my grandfather died. His funeral was the first real movement a priest had given me, granted, it was quite the Catholic service, but the priest inspired me to re-think my idea towards organized religion. Granted, not towards Catholicism, but I had decided I wasn't into that when I wasn't allowed to take communion, it had nothing to do with the priest at my grandfather's funeral, or the fact that he said his name wrong when blessing the casket with Holy Water. We joked that it was a good thing he fixed it at the end of the ritual, because we wouldn't want my grandfather's spirit's entrance into Heaven to be confused with someone that *gasp* may have not even have died!
So, here I am, suddenly involved with the Episcopal Church...and I've made the decision to be confirmed. Without Vacation Bible School, without pamphlets and without the Lord's Prayer in it's thousands of versions.
I still don't know if I fully get it. I know that proclaiming myself as a Christian states that I accept Christ's love and what he did to die for me. I make big plans to, as they say, "walk in love as Christ loved us." I know all of this. I know that Christ is supposed to forgive me, which is good because I have premarital sex, I used to drink underage, I have a moderate sailor's tongue and...quite honestly...all that stuff considered sin enters my life on a regular basis. I like the idea of forgiveness, and prayer and meditation. I think the story of Christ is amazing...Christmas, Advent, Lent...I dig it, I really do.
I put more faith in God that people give me credit for, quite frankly. Especially the Christians that let the world know they are such. I keep my faith private, really only broadcasting it in one of my cross necklaces and the occasional church name drop.
This is where it gets me...does not proclaiming from mountain tops that Jesus Christ is my saviour and I put a good bit of my trust in God make me a bad Christian? Or...is it that humility thing.
Just some thoughts. At quarter-to-four in the morning.
Jack Kerouac calls to me...see what I mean...about the sin?
Sit...stand...kneel...no, you can't do that. Jesus...God...Mary? It all sort of confused me. On one hand, I always knew that I was supposed to think polythiesm was wrong, but couldn't wrap my head around worshiping Christ, God and Mary and considering it monotheism. I just didn't get it. On top of that, people were always trying to convert me, throwing the Lord's Prayer in my face (there were so many different versions!) as well as The Bible. Well, in the words of the movie "Saved," The Bible is not a weapon. Yet, I saw it as being used as a tool for evil, not good.
So I denounced the whole idea of organized religion for a while, because too many people were shoving it down my throat. My boyfriend at the time made me go to Lutheran church with him, and consistently hinted at the idea of my converting. I couldn't dig it though, not at the time, not at St. Matthew's Lutheran, or any other church for that matter.
I mean, I was realtively convinced of a diety of some sort, I just didn't see the confusion to be worth it.
I found the Episcopal Church when my grandfather died. His funeral was the first real movement a priest had given me, granted, it was quite the Catholic service, but the priest inspired me to re-think my idea towards organized religion. Granted, not towards Catholicism, but I had decided I wasn't into that when I wasn't allowed to take communion, it had nothing to do with the priest at my grandfather's funeral, or the fact that he said his name wrong when blessing the casket with Holy Water. We joked that it was a good thing he fixed it at the end of the ritual, because we wouldn't want my grandfather's spirit's entrance into Heaven to be confused with someone that *gasp* may have not even have died!
So, here I am, suddenly involved with the Episcopal Church...and I've made the decision to be confirmed. Without Vacation Bible School, without pamphlets and without the Lord's Prayer in it's thousands of versions.
I still don't know if I fully get it. I know that proclaiming myself as a Christian states that I accept Christ's love and what he did to die for me. I make big plans to, as they say, "walk in love as Christ loved us." I know all of this. I know that Christ is supposed to forgive me, which is good because I have premarital sex, I used to drink underage, I have a moderate sailor's tongue and...quite honestly...all that stuff considered sin enters my life on a regular basis. I like the idea of forgiveness, and prayer and meditation. I think the story of Christ is amazing...Christmas, Advent, Lent...I dig it, I really do.
I put more faith in God that people give me credit for, quite frankly. Especially the Christians that let the world know they are such. I keep my faith private, really only broadcasting it in one of my cross necklaces and the occasional church name drop.
This is where it gets me...does not proclaiming from mountain tops that Jesus Christ is my saviour and I put a good bit of my trust in God make me a bad Christian? Or...is it that humility thing.
Just some thoughts. At quarter-to-four in the morning.
Jack Kerouac calls to me...see what I mean...about the sin?
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